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This year marks a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease communication with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Gen Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's response is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who choose against parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral traits signaling a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic act.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {